Coping with infertility

Sherri always knew she wanted to be a mother, but when she began trying to get pregnant, her body refused to cooperate. She felt the problem was a personal one, and because she kept it to herself, she opened herself up to a lot of unexpected judgment.

“The hardest thing through all of it was people’s attitudes,” she said.

Sherri herself had a very positive attitude about the whole thing, but she and her husband had no one to talk to about their ordeal. Adding to the stress was the fact that Sherri wasn’t working because just going to the doctor to be treated was a full time job.

“A lot of older women could be really cruel about the whole thing, saying things like, ‘My daughter has to work and she has children,’” Sherri said. “But they had no idea, no clue. They did not understand what was going on, and that taught me that no one ever really knows the whole story of someone’s journey.”

Sherri’s journey was a long one that included a lot of medical treatments. She had polycystic ovaries, and because of that she had a hormone problem. Her eggs couldn’t release, and she couldn’t get pregnant. She had to go through a lot of testing, and the different tests they put her through were physically and emotionally draining.

“It was a very trying time in my and my husband’s relationship, too,” Sherri said.

Her treatment also included getting shots with a three-inch needle – her husband would give them to her — everyday from her period until she ovulated. Then she would go to the doctor to see if she had some eggs that were ready to pop. The shots were pretty painful, but everything paid off when Sherri finally got pregnant.

“When I finally did get pregnant, I told them, ‘I have seen so many pictures of eggs, and I am going to see this baby!” she laughed.

Sherri credits her personal philosophy on life with helping her cope with her infertility.

As Sherri learned, you’re never alone in infertility. As more women have opened up about it, the burden of the experience has been lessened. Take a look at Julie’s blog A Little Pregnant if you’re feeling a little alienated and you’ll see what we mean.

MORE TIPS & TOOLS

Hopeful Mommy Support
INCIID is an organization that supports women and couples dealing with infertility with current information, alternative options and even an in vitro scholarship program.

Taking the Eastern Approach
Visit The Herbal Room for information on the use of acupuncture and herbs in aiding fertility.

The Adoption Option
Adoption.com helps infertile couples decide if adoption is the right choice for them.

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Love knows no boundaries — An International Adoption Story

Mary and Bill met on the school bus as teenagers and started their life’s journey from there. But when they set out to start family, things got difficult.

“I had my first Grand Mal seizure in the middle of teaching a class,” said Mary. “They took me to the hospital, and at first they said that it didn’t mean that I had epilepsy because anyone can have a seizure.”

The first seizure, however, was a sign of things to come. Mary had more and more attacks, averaging about three to five a month. Eventually doctors said she was eligible for brain surgery, and she was seizure-free for a year.

With her health in check, Mary decided to try to get pregnant. The stress of trying to conceive, having a miscarriage, and having surgery to try to conceive again caused her seizures to return.

“The one treatment that we were going with was Clomid, and you can only go through that so many times before you start to become at risk for cervical cancer,” Bill explained. “When we exhausted all those options, we started reading on what the next procedure would be, which was infertility treatments. At that point in time, we both said, ‘This is scary and probably not for us.'”

Seeing their baby girl for the first time through photos made both Bill and Mary fall in love. They were her parents, no matter what.

“They gave us a description of her personality and said she was slightly obstinate,” said Mary. “We thought, ‘She is going to be just like her mom.'”

The couple flew to China to complete their family, brimming with hope and happiness, but their first meeting wasn’t picture perfect. Their baby had no idea who they were, didn’t understand what was happening, and took some time to warm up to Mommy and Daddy.

Since coming home from China, Bill and Mary and their new little girl are just like any other family. Bill’s a doting dad, Mary’s a nurturing mom, and Anne is their little shadow.

“I am just so happy,” Mary said. “People in restaurants have been shocked because she squeals so loud with joy. They think she’s crying, and then they are floored to know she’s squealing with joy. She is just so happy. She has love, she has family, friends — my students at school went nuts when they saw her picture — she has so many people that love her. She is going to grow and be an incredible person.”

If you’re considering the adoption option, try Adoption.com, which helps infertile couples understand the process, the expectations and the experience of adopting a baby. Or dive into any of these great resources:

Hopeful Mommy Support
INCIID is an organization that supports women and couples dealing with infertility with current information, alternative options and even an in vitro scholarship program.

Just a Little Pregnant
Julie talks about infertility, in vitro and proud parenthood in this amusing, inspiring online journal.

Taking the Eastern Approach
Visit The Herbal Room for information on the use of acupuncture and herbs in aiding fertility.

One Family’s Adoption Journey
Follow Stephen & Laura as they blog about the hard work and long wait it takes to bring their baby home from China.

7 miscarriages and then… it’s a girl!

Nine years ago Christine began trying to have a child. For most people this is a fairly easy mission. For her, it wasn’t.

Christine had no trouble getting pregnant, and even after her first miscarriage she and her husband were still optimistic. Her doctor explained the many women miscarry during their first pregnancy.

After her second, third, fourth and fifth miscarriage though, Christine knew nature wasn’t going to give her the baby she dreamed of.

“I started to consider adoption, but my husband wanted to have a family of his own,” she said. “It was such a difficult point in our lives. I started to get very depressed, and I felt I had nowhere to turn.”

Christine was a director of human resources at a hotel, so even if she’d just had a miscarriage, her job was to be happy. In the morning she would have a cry in the car then wipe her tears, reapply her make-up and walk in as if nothing was going on. She didn’t share what was going on with anybody because it’s not something people talk about, she said.

Dealing with health insurance through the miscarriages was also very trying. Thankfully, somebody in her company’s HR department tipped her off that she wasn’t the only person at her company trying to get coverage for infertility. Christine went to that person and found they were both in similar situations.

“We became a huge source of support for each other,” she said.

Christine and her husband went through it all — artificial insemination, In Vitro — and time after time, they would get to the eight-week point and lose the baby.

After the seventh miscarriage the doctor sat them down and suggested they find alternative methods.

“My daughter is just a complete blessing,” Christine said. “Every day I look at her and I think about everything that I went through to get to this point and it doesn’t matter any more. She is everything I envisioned and more.”

As Christine learned from her own experience, more women than you can imagine struggle with infertility. To find the support you need, try INCIID, an organization that supports women and couples dealing with infertility with current information, alternative options and even an in vitro scholarship program.

Also take a look at these helpful resources:
Just a Little Pregnant
Julie talks about infertility, in vitro and proud parenthood in this amusing, inspiring online journal.

Taking the Eastern Approach
Visit The Herbal Room for information on the use of acupuncture and herbs in aiding fertility.

The Adoption Option

Adoption.com helps infertile couples decide if adoption is the right choice for them.

Desperately Seeking Serenity
Join one wife, one husband and one needy cat as they go through surgeries, IVF, FETs and many, many breakdowns on their quest to have a family.