Wendy, author of the ultimate women’s dating guide The Boyfriend Test, readily admits that she sounds like an old mom from the ’50s by proclaiming the biggest dating mistake women make is sleeping with someone too soon.
But, nevertheless, she stands by it. Wendy says that women all too often have sex before there is a worthy amount of trust, and that is usually their tragic relationship flaw.
“I don’t mean trust that you’re going to get married, or that you’ll live together, or that this relationship will last forever,” she said. “But you should have some trust in your biology and in the fact that you have some type of emotional connection with this person.”
Wendy says we often fantasize about who a guy is and then find out the hard way that we’ve created a person who doesn’t match the guy standing in front of us. Rather than idealize him, Wendy says we need to let the guy reveal himself to us.
“There is only one rule about when you should sleep with somebody: when trust happens,” she says. “It takes some time for people’s personalities to unfold and for the connection you make to become trustful, but there’s no timeline for exactly when that will happen.”
Before you jump in the sack, ask yourself:
- Should you really be sleeping with this man?
- Are you ready? Why or why not?
- Is he ready?
- Have you thought about all the things that go into a sexual relationship?
“Consider what makes you feel safe, healthy and emotionally stable. Make rules for yourself and then stick to those rules,” Wendy advises. “The most damaging thing you can do to yourself as a woman is false advertising. Figure out who you are and be proud of it. I promise you that no matter what your sexual personal rule is, there’s a match out there for you.”
MORE TIPS & TOOLS
A Good Dose of Wendy
Visit Dr. Wendy’s official web site for more insight on how to find yourself in a healthy, thriving, long-term relationship.
Source of advice and counsel from the author of the iconic “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.”
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