Coping with infertility

Sherri always knew she wanted to be a mother, but when she began trying to get pregnant, her body refused to cooperate. She felt the problem was a personal one, and because she kept it to herself, she opened herself up to a lot of unexpected judgment.

“The hardest thing through all of it was people’s attitudes,” she said.

Sherri herself had a very positive attitude about the whole thing, but she and her husband had no one to talk to about their ordeal. Adding to the stress was the fact that Sherri wasn’t working because just going to the doctor to be treated was a full time job.

“A lot of older women could be really cruel about the whole thing, saying things like, ‘My daughter has to work and she has children,’” Sherri said. “But they had no idea, no clue. They did not understand what was going on, and that taught me that no one ever really knows the whole story of someone’s journey.”

Sherri’s journey was a long one that included a lot of medical treatments. She had polycystic ovaries, and because of that she had a hormone problem. Her eggs couldn’t release, and she couldn’t get pregnant. She had to go through a lot of testing, and the different tests they put her through were physically and emotionally draining.

“It was a very trying time in my and my husband’s relationship, too,” Sherri said.

Her treatment also included getting shots with a three-inch needle – her husband would give them to her — everyday from her period until she ovulated. Then she would go to the doctor to see if she had some eggs that were ready to pop. The shots were pretty painful, but everything paid off when Sherri finally got pregnant.

“When I finally did get pregnant, I told them, ‘I have seen so many pictures of eggs, and I am going to see this baby!” she laughed.

Sherri credits her personal philosophy on life with helping her cope with her infertility.

As Sherri learned, you’re never alone in infertility. As more women have opened up about it, the burden of the experience has been lessened. Take a look at Julie’s blog A Little Pregnant if you’re feeling a little alienated and you’ll see what we mean.

MORE TIPS & TOOLS

Hopeful Mommy Support
INCIID is an organization that supports women and couples dealing with infertility with current information, alternative options and even an in vitro scholarship program.

Taking the Eastern Approach
Visit The Herbal Room for information on the use of acupuncture and herbs in aiding fertility.

The Adoption Option
Adoption.com helps infertile couples decide if adoption is the right choice for them.

7 miscarriages and then… it’s a girl!

Nine years ago Christine began trying to have a child. For most people this is a fairly easy mission. For her, it wasn’t.

Christine had no trouble getting pregnant, and even after her first miscarriage she and her husband were still optimistic. Her doctor explained the many women miscarry during their first pregnancy.

After her second, third, fourth and fifth miscarriage though, Christine knew nature wasn’t going to give her the baby she dreamed of.

“I started to consider adoption, but my husband wanted to have a family of his own,” she said. “It was such a difficult point in our lives. I started to get very depressed, and I felt I had nowhere to turn.”

Christine was a director of human resources at a hotel, so even if she’d just had a miscarriage, her job was to be happy. In the morning she would have a cry in the car then wipe her tears, reapply her make-up and walk in as if nothing was going on. She didn’t share what was going on with anybody because it’s not something people talk about, she said.

Dealing with health insurance through the miscarriages was also very trying. Thankfully, somebody in her company’s HR department tipped her off that she wasn’t the only person at her company trying to get coverage for infertility. Christine went to that person and found they were both in similar situations.

“We became a huge source of support for each other,” she said.

Christine and her husband went through it all — artificial insemination, In Vitro — and time after time, they would get to the eight-week point and lose the baby.

After the seventh miscarriage the doctor sat them down and suggested they find alternative methods.

“My daughter is just a complete blessing,” Christine said. “Every day I look at her and I think about everything that I went through to get to this point and it doesn’t matter any more. She is everything I envisioned and more.”

As Christine learned from her own experience, more women than you can imagine struggle with infertility. To find the support you need, try INCIID, an organization that supports women and couples dealing with infertility with current information, alternative options and even an in vitro scholarship program.

Also take a look at these helpful resources:
Just a Little Pregnant
Julie talks about infertility, in vitro and proud parenthood in this amusing, inspiring online journal.

Taking the Eastern Approach
Visit The Herbal Room for information on the use of acupuncture and herbs in aiding fertility.

The Adoption Option

Adoption.com helps infertile couples decide if adoption is the right choice for them.

Desperately Seeking Serenity
Join one wife, one husband and one needy cat as they go through surgeries, IVF, FETs and many, many breakdowns on their quest to have a family.