The secret to lasting monogamy

After years in the dating trenches and endless research to earn a Ph.D. in psychology, Wendy has pinpointed the one thing every relationship needs to stand the tests of time.


“Look and listen, ladies. If a man wants your eggs, he should expect to have to work for them,” Wendy says. “Trust your intuition, and if someone feels like a whirlwind, they’ll probably blow through as quickly as they came in.”

1. Patience is a virtue.

“Our personality and our unconscious processes sneak through in all kinds of little behaviors. If you’ve got your relationship radar on, you can tell whether someone will be a good partner by simply looking for patience,” Wendy says. “Patience comes into play at the very beginning of a relationship, and it’s the very thing that will keep it going until the very end.”

2. Delay gratification.

“The most important thing for healthy, happy, long-term monogamy,” Wendy declares, “is the ability to delay gratification.”

Being able to delay gratification is important because in any long-term relationship there will be times – many, many times – when you won’t get what you want when you want it.

For instance, say you’re nine months pregnant with his child and he’s got to wait for some nookie. Maybe you’re busy working and you’re late for dinner and he’s got to wait for dinner.

“These situations will come up, and he’s either got to figure out a way to get his needs taken care of within the safe boundaries of the relationship or know how to delay gratification,” Wendy says.

3. Watch for signs from the get-go.

“You can look for signs of right-nowness the very first time you meet a guy,” Wendy says.

Pay attention to his manners. Is he impulsive? How does he act on the first date? Does he open doors? Does he let you go first? First impressions aren’t everything, but they do mean something, she cautions.

Now take Wendy’s advice and get out there and start dating! You’ll never meet anyone sitting in that bath tub full of bubbles and rose petals (though it does feel quite nice). Take these tips and get going on finding the relationship of your dreams.


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